For most of my working life, whether I was in small companies or big ones, in Taipei or Beijing, I’ve had the good fortune of working with people who I got along well with, respected, and befriended. Since this happened regularly, I considered it normal to have pleasant work experiences. I have had a lot of great Taiwanese, Chinese mainlander, Western (English, Scottish, Welsh, Australian, Canadian, American etc), and Asian (Singaporean, Indian, Korean etc) colleagues. You might notice a certain omission on this list so please read on.
Sadly, this good colleagues “streak” came to an end in my last job, which I left recently. Now, this wasn’t the main reason I left (that would be issues concerning the work role and responsibilities so I won’t touch on that here), but it was a major factor. Because it’s just not good when you work with people who don’t respect you and vice versa. What bothers me is that I have no idea what was the cause of this problem with my colleagues, which went on for over a year up to the very end of my time there. I never had any disputes with anybody, never undercut anybody, and never disrespected people, whether my peers or juniors.
From the start, there were a few people who didn’t like me for some reason. They so disliked me that they became fixated on me. What started as petty gossip from these people, from my own team, about me became more vicious and blatant. They also did things like search for me online, including finding this blog and talk about things I’d written (and not in a good way). Even worse, they also spread their gossip about me to other colleagues. I tried to stay professional and remained polite with people, including the very ones who started this, but this still went on. During a very hectic period earlier this year where I had to handle several tough projects simultaneously, I decided to limit myself to perfunctory greetings (some not even) with most colleagues and ceased attending certain voluntary office events, which made some people realize that I was aware of what was going on. Instead of letting things dying down or deciding to repair the situation like adults, my colleagues aggravated the situation even more. And that’s when I really lost a lot of respect for some people and started wondering about whether I really wanted to work with them. During this time, I also had to deal with a lot of complications in handling the aforementioned projects, and this reaction (not the original gossiping, but the fact they escalated it) helped convince me to make my decision.
I don’t regret it. Truth is despite what you may have heard about Hong Kong, I’ve never been in a workplace where so many colleagues spent so much time hanging out and gossiping during office hours. It’s not like I’ve never chatted or joked with coworkers at my previous jobs, but not to the extent where we were doing it all the time and disrupting others in the middle of the day. I’ve also never been in a workplace where young people, specifically those in my team, were the ones gossiping so much (maybe this is a Hong Kong thing). In the end, I was more disappointed than angry at them.
I was a little at fault for trying to tolerate this for so long and not taking steps to resolve this situation like directly speaking to some of the people involved. I’ve never been good at confronting people and especially not at work. Also, in general, I believed that people usually behave with decency and hoped that my colleagues would act like adults in the end. But, as with many aspects of life, problems never go away if you just ignore them and refuse to deal with them. Sometimes you need to either confront or call out people for their bullshit. Of course, if the job was worth keeping and staying on, I would have tried doing this.
In the end, I’m not sure if what I experienced was normal in Hong Kong workplaces or if it was that I had some particularly devious and negative colleagues. Either way, whenever any Hong Konger boasts about how hardworking Hong Kongers are, I have a great comeback.